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The Unmarried Mother, by Sheila Tofield
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Sheila Tofield tells her moving true story about being a single mother in 1950s Britain, in The Unmarried Mother.
'A searing, honest testimony' Lesley Pearse
Sheila grew up in Rotherham, the daughter of an uncaring mother who made her believe she was useless, stupid and - most painfully of all - unlovable. As a young woman, her worst childhood fears were confirmed when her fiance broke off their engagement without an explanation. Heartbroken and vulnerable, Sheila was easy prey to the worst type of man - a man who turned his back on her when she told him she was carrying his child.
In Fifties Britain, an unmarried, pregnant girl received,not sympathy but censure and contempt. Shunned by most of her family, Sheila ended up in a Church of England home for unmarried mothers, with no apparent alternative than to give up her child for adoption. But when she held her newborn daughter in her arms for the first time, Sheila knew she had to do the unthinkable: bring up her baby on her own in a society that would condemn her for it.
Sheila Tofield is a proud grandmother living in Chichester and The Unmarried Mother is her first book. Her touching story was picked up by Penguin when she entered the hugely successful life story competition with Saga Magazine.
- Sales Rank: #223064 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-03-28
- Released on: 2013-03-28
- Format: Kindle eBook
About the Author
Sheila Tofield was an entrant in Penguin and Saga magazine's hugely successful life story competition. She is a proud grandmother who lives in Chichester. This is her first book.
Most helpful customer reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
The Unmarried Mother
By Damaskcat
Anyone born after the nineteen seventies really needs to read this book to see how much attitudes have changed since the nineteen fifties. The author grew up in a family where love was in short supply. Her mother regarded her as a nuisance and while she had a good relationship with some of her brothers and sisters life during and after World War II was not easy. I find it really sad when someone was happier during the nine months she spent in hospital because of Diphtheria than she ever was at home.
The section of the book which is the real eye opener for anyone who did not grow up in the nineteen fifties is when the author became pregnant. Contraception was unreliable and difficult to obtain especially if you were not married and legal abortion was not available. I was born in the nineteen fifties and I remember the mother and baby homes where unmarried mothers went to have their babies and give them up for adoption. It was the worst thing that could happen to a young girl in that era - to become pregnant outside marriage. It was always the woman's fault. It was impossible for a woman on her own to claim any form of welfare payments - benefits were for men only.
The author through sheer grit and determination and the help of her older sister and to a certain extent her mother managed to keep her daughter. She was fortunate that she had understanding employers as well but what she did was very unusual then. Some people she came across didn't judge her but there were others who regarded her as the lowest of the low. When her daughter was a toddler she met the man she was to marry - partly because he seemed happy to accept her daughter. But that was the start of a nightmare for both the author and her daughter.
I found this book compelling reading. It tells a poignant story in a very simple way which gives it a much bigger impact than it might otherwise have had. The author freely admits she made mistakes in her life and that she would have done some things differently given a choice. Her relationship with her mother was always problematical but at least her mother did accept her granddaughter in the end and allowed her daughter to live at home with the baby.
This is far from being a misery memoir and I enjoyed reading it. I found it most interesting for its portrayal of the attitudes and way of life in the nineteen fifties.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
The Unmarried Mother in the 1950's
By Kindle Customer
A very compelling life story. I grew up in the England of the war years and could relate to Shelia's story. I loved the detail about life in those times. Sure she made some mistakes but she tried her best for her children. I was horrified to read How her Mother and brother treated her. I married a G.I. and left England in 1953 ,I did love the open easy going outlines only lifelong that the Americans possessed. I admire her for doing as well as she did and am so glad her later years were happier. Once I started the book If could not put it down.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Mothers
By Bookworm
This book shows how attitudes to women have changed, especially to girls who become pregnant outside of marriage. Sixty years ago it was so something to be hidden and really ashamed of, today, it is something some people actually choose to do. This author was a rarity for those days, who chose to keep her baby and tells of her struggle to bring up her child. Society has changed so much in the last sixty years that what was the norm then is almost unbelievable today. An absorbing story.
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